I am someones father...

Hello,

I am someones father. 

One month ago I was just SCRaM.

Funny how we forget ourselves if the price is right.

At about 3:45am this morning, I find myself involved in an exercise in futility: Trying to sleep through the anguished squalls of my 29 day old baby Jimmye as her mother work diligently to console her after a feeding.

It's intriguing how a baby cries at precisely the pitch that is impossible to sleep through. But it isn't just the wailing that keeps me awake, Its the guilt. Despite having to roll out of bed in a few hours and crawl to work I feel that I should be getting up and helping. Most women would probably agree. Most men might not. After all, I were to sit up with Jamie while she performs her motherly duties there wouldn't be much I could really do considering me not being physically equipped with the right tools for the job...Cant exactly relieve her...but I still have the guilt...and it keeps me awake even after the baby is quietly falling back to sleep. 

During this wakefulness my brain starts to pace through my head. So many questions, ideas and observations arise regarding the way things are and have been in child rearing for centuries. All the methods passed down generation by generation. All the small adjustments and additions to those methods changed by each generation thinking that they can do it better.

My mind cringes when thinking of the flood of information from all directions - from formula peddling Pediatricians to Mothers to Mid-Wifes to Dr. Sears to Grandmothers to Breast feeding Consultants to Erick Erickson to Waitresses at Denny's - one methodology counter-indicating the next. So who do we listen to? Everyone? No one? The Bum that lives behind Ross on El Toro gave us the best definitive advice so far. "keep the kid out of the microwave, Not even for a few seconds". Duly noted, Sir.

The frustration of under-education as a dad can be maddening but so far I've rolled with the punches. Jamie is doing an amazing job so far especially for a first time mother. When she's feeding, shes reading and her endurance is inspirational. She has to be averaging half the sleep I am and yet I'm the one who whines if I don't get a good amount. I work 8 hours a day, 5 days a week with 2 paid 15 minute breaks and an hour lunch in the middle of the day. Being a mother, especially during these formative months, is a 24 hours job 7 days a week.

I've Identified the roles mothers and fathers play and the negative factors that lead to parents being branded as "bad parents" and while I am doing my best not to develop the entitlement issues some fathers have, I can see where they stem from. Being the breadwinner, a man feels that he should be able to come home and relax after working his 9 to 5 to put food on the table and keep the lights on but in that selfish moment the man of the house is not considering all the energy draining tedium that his significant other has endured in his absence.

We come home for lunch to find them watching the Price is Right and the we think "Must be nice" but If we payed closer attention we would see that they aren't there. They dont give a crap about who wins Plinko. The TV is only on so they dont feel alone while they are focused on making sure the child is getting enough food and that the latch is good and that the child is burping regularly and diapers are changed and the rash is under control and baby is warm and comfortable and so on and so forth. All the while In the back of theyre mind all they want is to do is be able to get up and take a shower and maybe get some fresh air. Maybe do some stretches and get a massage to help battle the poor posture they are developing from the constant feedings. 

If us fathers take a minute to see these small queues we would better understand. I try to ask how she is doing often. She always says shes fine and I believe her because although shes going through all this it is nothing in comparison to what she went through in order to release the child from the womb. This is all a labor of love for her. Its all worth it.

As a dad I don't automatically share the strong bond that Mommy and baby have so I have some work to put in if I plan on coming out of this thing in a positive light. I'm A DIY guy and since I never had a father making me in his image I've had the good fortune of making myself all these years. Now I get to really test my strength, knowledge and patience by starting from scratch as a parent and hopefully instill all the great things Ive learned over the years In my daughter. BRING IT ON, BABY! 

Well...this was all meant to be a small post to introduce my new "First Time Dad" blog but I guess I needed to rant a bit. If you read all that I thank you for your time. Please feel free to comment and/or subscribe if you haven't already. In the future I will be posting my observations, quandaries and maybe even a few product reviews If I find some worthy of my time.

Thanks

SCRaM